I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
