A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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