champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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