sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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