I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
