I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I believe in your delicious
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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