she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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