Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
