D3 body, D1 cock
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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