May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
