I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My dick has a subreddit
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Two words: blizzard sex
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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