Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
