turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
