is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
