you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
