I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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