remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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