Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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