I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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