Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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