I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
