She said her name was "party"
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
