I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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