You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
