One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
