We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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