with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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