brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
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