i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
