Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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