don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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