tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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