shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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