this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
