why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
