Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
