can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
