God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
