I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
