I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
