but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
