just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
