and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
