I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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