Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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