I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
