At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I party with great urgency now.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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