bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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