Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I think your dad took our porno
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize