I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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