Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
