1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
