Already got asked if we're dating
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
