Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
