in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
