It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
