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hotel room ftw
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
