like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize